"You look like you're losing weight!"
By Jeany Miller More Blogs by This AuthorFrom the Diary of a Fat Woman Blog Series
I heard the most delicious words from an old friend’s mouth today. They were, and I quote, “Jeany, you look like you’re losing weight.” I couldn’t help the huge smile that spread across my face. It’s been such a long time since I heard anybody say that to me. Better yet - she genuinely meant it!
Before I go any further, I have to confess that I’m not actively doing anything to lose weight, per se. I’m walking my dog a lot, especially in the afternoons, but that’s more for his benefit than mine. And I like being in the sunshine, where I can get a free tan and soak up plenty of vitamin D. But these walks are not intended to help me shed pounds, even though I do think they are helping.
I’m also eating less. I’m not watching what I eat, just taking in fewer calories during the day. Breakfast might be toast, I usually have soup for lunch, and dinner is whatever I can quickly throw together. I’ve omitted fast food completely from my diet - again, not because of my weight issue, but because of the way fast food makes me feel. It literally hurts my stomach to the point where I can’t sleep until it’s fully digested. No food is worth that kind of agony, so I’ve learned to bypass it altogether, and I now feel much better as a result.
A Weight Lifted
Perhaps my greatest achievement this particular week has been to not obsess about my weight. That sounds ludicrous, but that’s actually very hard for me to do. I’m always worried that every article of clothing I put on, every out-of-place hair, and every cosmetic I apply only serves to accentuate my bulk. But over the last few days, I’ve been too busy to care, and that’s been an enormous and welcome relief. Not having the wherewithal to worry about my weight is like living life on a different planet, one where I can rise above my flaws and just focus on being the best person possible.
Of course, this is yet another week in which I haven’t been to Curves, but the up side to this is that I haven’t stressed about it. I didn’t spend a single minute feeling guilty for not sporting my workout clothes, getting in the car, and arriving at Curves with a false smile on my face as I prepared to huff and puff through a workout that left me mentally exhausted. Not to say that I’m happy about my situation, but rather that I’m trying to exercise in ways that are less obvious and perhaps more fulfilling – again, walking my dog and even getting out in the garden I just planted. Besides, I’d much rather be at home than inside the confines of a stuffy gym.
Even though I’m pleased with these new developments, I do plan to get back to Curves, especially with the heat of summer in full force. But today, for whatever reason, I’m content with who I am. And that is the most refreshing, and most positive, news I’ve ever been able to deliver in some time.