Temples and Tents: Giving My Body the Respect It Deserves
By Jeany Miller More Blogs by This AuthorFrom the Diary of a Fat Woman Blog Series
Last week, I went grocery shopping and selected the following items for my basket: two pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, one bunch of bananas, a container of fresh strawberries, and two ears of corn on the cob. This is a far cry from my usual purchases, which usually include processed chocolate chip cookies, a bag of potato chips, and a case of Coca-Cola. I still don’t know what’s come over me. It’s not like I’m eating perfectly or exercising religiously – I’m exercising very little, in fact. But I am cognizant of my food choices in a way that I’ve never been before. I’m also trying to consume more fruits and vegetables than I had been previously. Of course, that shouldn't be an issue, because I haven’t diligently eaten healthy foods in a number of years. But all of a sudden, I’m trying to undo many years’ worth of bad habits. And while it’s easy to start eating healthy, it’s a bit harder to remain patient about the results. To put it kindly, I still have a long way to go.
Tents and Temples
I read a quote recently that has been on repeat in my brain: “I treat my body like a temple. You treat yours like a tent.” This phrase is from a Jimmy Buffet song, but the point it makes is profound enough for a college textbook. For a full decade now, I’ve treated my body like a tent. I haven’t cared for it, I haven’t honored it, and I certainly haven’t tended to its needs. Instead, I’ve thoughtlessly given in to every whimsical craving for sugar and salt without regard for my own health. Basically, I’ve lived like there’s no tomorrow.
Still, with all of this said, I shouldn't let you think that I’ve turned into a health priestess. I've always struggled with food cravings, and these haven't gone away. This week, I've eaten a handful of chocolate chip cookies, several French fries, some candy and several glasses of pop. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: I love chocolate and chips. I wish I could eat these instead of fruits and vegetables, and I guess I could, but I’d continue to gain weight, and I definitely don’t want to get any bigger.
Tired of Being Tired
More than my love of these foods, though, is exhaustion with myself. I’m tired of being angry, I’m tired of feeling fat, I’m tired of looking at my reflection and immediately thinking, “You look huge today.” I would like for just once to feel proud of myself for staying motivated and sticking with my plan.
I have to say that one of the best ways to kick my less-than-stellar eating habits is to not allow bad foods into my home. I can’t necessarily control how hungry I am during any given 24-hour period, but I can control what I eat during that time. And avoiding temptation in the first place is the best method I have to refrain from stuffing myself with junk.
Of course, even with my attempts to eat better, I’m still not exercising much. My boyfriend and I have gone for a few walks – not anything too strenuous – and I continue to walk my dog, but exercise seems to be an obstacle I can’t overcome. Perhaps tomorrow, which seems to provide a clean slate anyway.