Satiate Your Techy Thirst Here!
"Congress will pass a law restricting public comment on the Internet to individuals who have spent a minimum of one hour actually accomplishing a specific task while online."
- Andy Grove, Co-Founder Intel
Jan Christian has been unable to speak since the age of 17. Her voice was lost during a tragic car accident in which her throat was slammed into an oncoming dashboard. For years, cowardly doctors have told her they were afraid of what may happen if they went in and tried to fix the damage done to her vocal chords. A chance meeting at a supermarket changed all that. A stranger, overhearing Christian attempt to speak, suggested she seek out Dr. Sid M Khoska.
Khoska, a former MIT engineer turned rogue voice box doctor, teamed with a rocket scientist (yes, that is an actual profession, and yes, they are wizened wizards) from Cincinnati University to kick Christian's problem right in the throat...and kick they did.
Jan Christian is now the proud owner of a soft, smooth, truly remarkable voice and her husband is now the proud owner of monthly migraines.
The Cure for a Hangover
Dr. Jason Burke, anesthesiologist, will roll out his startup, Hangover Heaven, this Sunday in Vegas. Hangover Heaven serves as a mobile, IV drip, cure for the hangover. Simply call him up, he arrives, plugs you into an IV drip for 500 bones, and you're right as rain.
Personally, while I think kudos are due Burke for capitalizing on the want of many guzzling guys and gals, this is a terrible idea. Hangovers are natures way of pointing her finger and laughing at your stupidity. Without them, everyone is going to go all, post Passion, Mel Gibson on the world! Maybe this is what the Mayans foretold?
It Came From Below
The days of those absolutely tragic Life Alert commercials are soon over! IBM just, officially, received a patent for a floor that can read body weight position, sense a fall, and call the proper authorities for help. No word yet on if it comes equipped with Shag carpet.
There is an extremely complex explanation behind the way this floor operates, but I really don't want to repeat it as my brain is still recovering from the first read through. All I really want from IBM, is to know that, if and when, I am breakin' it down b-boy style in my living room, the 5-0 aren't going to rip down my door due to the excessive excellence being exhibited on my new uber-smart floor.
Also, this floor + Watson = IBM owning your face
See you next week nerds...