Marathons and Motivation
"Run a Half Marathon at Any Level"
I’ve started to receive emails from Fitness magazine, although I have no idea how. I don’t remember signing up for anything, but I must have done so inadvertently. Much to my surprise, I received one such message titled, “Run a Half Marathon at Any Level.” I was intrigued and opened the email. Contained inside were the steps necessary to go from couch potato to 13.1 miles, as well as testimony from others who had followed the regimen.
I have to confess I've been considering the plan for myself. I've increasingly begun to feel that my fat is a cover; I don’t want to exercise because I’ve gotten used to being complacent and disappointed. I’ve grown comfortable with my weight, no longer expecting the high standards I once demanded.
I’m not saying I need to be a supermodel, but I can certainly hold myself to a greater barometer than that currently in place (which is to say none). Unfortunately, I’m used to being disappointed by my own personal choices and my relationships. I’m 33 and have two divorces under my belt (my first husband was a raging alcoholic, my second was a relentless philanderer), work seven days a week just to pay my bills and don’t see the proverbial knight in shining armor coming anytime soon to whisk me away to a paradise of love and fortune.
Unleashing My Frustration
What would happen if I threw off the chains of previous frustrations and found a way to focus on my own health and well-being? This would mean, of course, losing all this weight once and for all to emerge stronger and more empowered than ever before. In my mind, I see the path to weight loss as one that can also build confidence and help me put the past in the past.
So, I’m contemplating the half marathon challenge. And indeed it would be a challenge, because I don't enjoy running. To me, it seems like senseless abuse to the body. A more enlightened version of me, however, would acknowledge that running can ease stress, clear your mind, and give you precious moments of peace and quiet. It can help you tune into nature and just move your body.
A Beautiful Notion
Before I make my decision, I need to know I can trust myself to put forth the effort required to see this thing through from start to finish. I don’t want to get all revved up just to disappoint myself in a few weeks by quitting, either because I don’t have the time to get out and walk/run or because I simply no longer have the desire to keep going. I desperately want to lose weight, but that’s going to require time and effort, and I want to put forth both once and for all.
Can I Do It?
I don’t know the answer to this question. Any person is capable of meeting challenges, but I seem to have shaken off all of my courage long ago. I’ve come up short lately in demanding more of myself and actually meeting those demands. Having said that, I absolutely need to engage in self-discipline and forego the negative self-talk that continually poisons me. I guess we’ll see what the future brings.