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May 8, 2013 at 8:00 AMComments: 0 Faves: 0

The Frustrating Actions of Others (Part II)

By Anne Christen More Blogs by This Author

"Continued from Part I on 5/7/13*

The Truth

I set out on a mission. Although I didn’t want to, I called Maggie back. The evidence mounting against her was too great to ignore. I didn’t confront her… I merely asked if she was positive that my boyfriend had been with the salon worker. After some haggling, she finally admitted that she wasn’t sure. She said she didn’t want to upset me; she only wanted me to know the truth.

After she was done, I breathed a sigh of relief, but I was still hurt. In fact, I’d been doubly hurt during this whole situation, first by Maggie’s allegation and then by her confession. Why had she started all of this? What did she have to gain by involving me in all of this?

A Potential Motive

I don’t have any answers, but I’m pretty sure I won’t go to Maggie again for my hair. I don’t want to get caught up in another web of anger and deception. From what I gathered in speaking to her and the salon worker, she doesn’t have her life together, and the path she’s on isn’t allowing her to turn things around. It seems like she's just so caught up in the drama and continues to make the same poor decisions over and over again. To make matters worse, she is bottling up a lot of anger, most of which stems from her broken relationship with her mother.

Apparently, Maggie’s mom threw her out of their house to make room for her much younger boyfriend. This has left Maggie feeling bruised and bitter, which is understandable, but her hateful feelings have now grown to encompass most of the people she knows, especially men. So the only explanation I have for what she did to me is that she wanted to tarnish her former co-worker’s reputation and hurt my boyfriend. Oddly, Maggie’s never even spoken to him, so her contempt for men must be far more intense and far-reaching than I'd originally realized.

Her actions ruined any chance we might have had for a friendship. I don’t believe this was her intention, but that’s what she ultimately accomplished. It makes me sad to think of where Maggie is at in life because I remember the person she once was: happy, bubbly, and outgoing. I can still see glimpses of this person, but it’s buried beneath resentment, deceit, and anger.

Moving Forward

As for my boyfriend and me, we patched up our relationship. He’s still hurt that I believed Maggie without talking to him first, but he also knows that I come with my own baggage. The hurt I’ve endured from past relationships has left me skeptical at best. I don’t trust people (men), and I’ve seen enough to know that love doesn’t come without pain. This isn't to say that all relationships are doomed from the start, but I accepted long ago that I’m not a princess in a Disney movie. If I’m going to get a happily ever after, it’ll be thanks to my own actions, not those of some Prince Charming.

Thankfully, there's been a silver lining in all of this: I've learned to be extremely cautious in trusting people. One of my greatest faults is that I believe the things people tell me without investigating the substance of their statements. So, my new resolution is to avoid jumping to conclusions and to instead remain calm, ask questions, and get all sides of the story before making any rash decisions. In short, I need to be the judge and jury of my own life.

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