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June 19, 2013 at 8:00 AMComments: 1 Faves: 0

How to Get a Guy in 10 Ways

By Rachael Steil More Blogs by This Author

I'm appalled to think what some girls do to get a guy. Let me rephrase that: ways they attempt to get a guy. Some of the strategies just don't pan out as one might expect, and when you're the one in a position to woo your lover, you may not realize how over-the-top or desperate you can act.

Ten years ago the romantic comedy How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days showed just how far desperation can go. Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) could only watch in sympathy as her friend Michelle (Kathryn Hahn) went through a small meltdown after losing her guy. But once Michelle admitted what she said to her now ex-boyfriend, Andie could only cringe with the viewer. However, the situation sparks a new "How-to" for Andie's next article in Composure, the magazine she works for: "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Her victim? Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey).

Okay, so it's obvious that you shouldn't follow Andie's techniques: don't be too clingy, too needy, too greedy. But how to get a guy? Let me count the ways...

1. Embrace Yourself

"My boyfriend thinks I'm fat!" Not a great way to embrace yourself--or your body for that matter. But Andi, in her attempt to push away Ben in any way, was desperate to show insecurity as they ate together at a vegetarian restaurant. If you can't love yourself, it makes it difficult for others to love you in return.

I know, easier said than done. But maybe it's time to put the self-love to work and find out what you like best about yourself. Write down your favorite qualities and bring those out around others. To exude confidence and joy you must embrace your favorite parts about yourself. Others will notice this confidence in you and you'll be more approachable.

2. Stand Out

You want to get a guy to notice you? Then you have to stand out from the crowd. That doesn't mean adopting Andi's "focus on me" technique as she steps into the middle of Ben's poker night with the guys. Avoid being too loud and obnoxious, but talk enough to engage in conversation rather than standing quietly to the side. Join a club and go to parties to get your name and personality out there. You want others to notice your true personality without going above and beyond the person you truly are.

If you have a few different groups of friends, make sure to hangout with those different people. Wear a variety of hairstyles and clothes within your personality spectrum. Hangout in different spots to change things up each day. Show that you're versatile within reason. One thing to keep consistent, though--a smell he likes. Don't be too overpowering with the perfume, but just enough for him to recognize it's you.

3. Smile

Andie did something right to start off the evening with Benjamin the moment they met. However she did more pouting than smiling throughout the rest of the relationship. Whether you're searching for the right man in the crowd or set up for a blind date, start out with a smile. Nonverbal cues can often be more powerful than verbal exchanges.

4. Lightest Is Brightest

Lighten up on the makeup to brighten up his day. Too much makeup screams "desperate," but just enough helps you to glow and brings out your best features. Andie didn't seem to catch onto this trick to push away her man in the movie. Each day her makeup was just enough to look pretty, not "pretty desperate."

5. Approach Him Alone

While it may be more comfortable to approach a guy that catches your eye with a group of friends, come alone or bring just one friend. A gaggle of girls only increases the intimidation factor.Andi nailed this tip as she broke away from her pack (of only two girlfriends--perfect!) to approach Benjamin for the first time.

If you want the guy to approach you that may mean coming to a party with just one or two other girls, and girls only. Even if there's just a guy friend with you, the man of your dreams won't dare approach you, as he wants to avoid the embarrassment of finding out the guy with you is actually your boyfriend (even if he isn't).

6. Wise with Words

Once you find yourself talking to your crush, keep the conversation positive. Avoid complaining (even if you're both complaining about the same thing) and try to steer the conversation towards more positive vibes--for example, activities you both love. This will keep the tone light-hearted and perhaps make it easier to throw a few jokes in there.

7. It's a Date!

Got the guy at last? Spark his interest further and set up a date with tickets to a concert or sports game--a winning strategy displayed by Andie. However, make sure to enjoy the event together--don't make him buy you a glass of Coke in the final two minutes of the game (shame on you, Andie!). The poor guy will not only be irritated but trapped between wanting to please you and witness the final play.

8. Slowly enter his life, but don't invade it

If there's one thing you should know from Andie's wrong-doings, it's her invasion of Benjamin's apartment. Within days Andie decorated Ben's bathroom with girlie trinkets (pink stuffed animals galore!) that could scare any guy out of a relationship. It seems the best relationships take time and patience. Enjoy the ride; no need to speed!

9. Don't Be Clingy

You've got him, and now you can't let go! What's a girl to do? The best way to avoid obsession (which can lead to unflattering nicknames like "Boo Boo Bear"... nice one, Andie) is to find other activities in your own life. The new boyfriend can't be your entire life--it's all about finding balance.

10. The Clincher

When Andie realizes she is really in love with Benjamin, the article she writes for her magazine shows the result of her experiment--she fell in love. Surprise, surprise. In the end, Benjamin realizes that he saw the real Andie beneath the fluff and tactics to get rid of him--and loves that Andie. Not to say every guy will see the true you beneath the desperation, so don't ever rely on "clingy" or "needy." In the end it is the beautiful personality you exude that the guy wants to see, but he can only fall in love with who you are if you work to get it out there.


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