How does menopause affects married life?
Marriages are made in heaven. This is a popular saying. We believe once we get married its going to stay forever. Its a very debatable topic of whether you should stay in a marriage thats bruised with fights and lack of physical intimacy or detach yourself like a loose thread. Whether you should fight against the storm or succumb to its power. Whether you should consult a relationship counselor or take your own decision based on your personal instincts against your spouse.
These very topics bring us to the many factors that lead to a marriage failure. Communication gap, inability to give much time to your spouse or in general, difference of opinion between the couple can decay the relationship over time and ultimately lead to one question: Whether to reminisce the wedding vows or say goodbye.
Finding the cause
It is a known fact that 50% of American weddings end in divorce. Its a matter of analysis that the ratio of successful marriage to failed marriage is even more critically lower in couples who are in their 40s and 50s. One of the reasons is Menopause, the phase where women suffer lots of physical ailments like hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, erratic and emotional turmoil, night sweats and inability to cope with their emotions in order to respond to the circumstances! The outcome? Husbands are the recipients of their irritated behavior. Menopause and marriage sit on two ends of a very thin rope thats made stronger with mutual understanding.
Men often find this phase irrational and discomforting. The hormonal shifts cause the women to become short tempered and suffer from mood swings. But they are also not so open to discuss their personal changes to their husbands. They find it hard to be intimate and do not respond well to physical closeness! Life after menopause is marred with increasing weight and inability to gain libido.
These factors are hard for men to understand and they find their spouses irritating and incompatible. Menopause and sex are two scenarios that run poles apart from each other. They often resort to physical satisfaction outside marriage and this results in extra-marital affairs. Women feel more dejected as their self-esteem hits rock-bottom. Her relationship stands on the loose thread of menopause and marriage.
Ways to Resolve this Situation
Women should open up to their husbands and discuss about the discomfort they are feeling. They should be okay with not being physically intimate with their husbands. The couple should together work upon building a strong and happy relationship. They can go on outings, have dinner dates, spend time doing recreational activities together and just hear each other out. Husbands should be patient with their wifes. If she behaves differently or gets angry on little things they should understand that they are not the reason for their anger. Its just a hormonal thing. Social situations like anniversaries or birthdays of children can be a challenge if the woman gets irritated on guests or shuts down the party entirely because she doesn't feel like playing the host. Husbands should make others understand that its not her fault and handle the situation like a gentleman. He should take his wifes side otherwise she might feel more irritated.
Ultimately its your choice
Menopause can be tough as it comes at a time when you are sending off your children to college, taking care of your elderly parents or looking after an ailing husband. You just need to remember that like every phase this too shall pass away.
Remember the time when you just got married and started a new life? You had to make many adjustments! Or the time when you had your first child? You were worried like hell but you did it anyway right?
Similarly this phase will be easier if the couples plan on staying together in tough times, communicate their innermost fear and understand each others doubts and dread.