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Next to a death, separation from a loved one is probably the most traumatic thing that will happen to each of us. In many ways, it is like a death, you've lost them, your heart is broken, you must now figure out how to go about your life without them there.

Have you GONE through a painful break-up before? How did you get over it? What helped you?

Are you going through a break-up currently? This is a safe place to share.

Erin Froehlich asked this
August 5, 2011 at 10:25 AM

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Funny you should mention that - yesterday marked 2 years since my ex and I broke up.

At the time, I thought I'd never recover. I cried for a week straight. But after that week, I was able to look back on the relationship and realize that for the majority of the relationship, he didn't treat me all that well. I kept on giving and giving of myself, and I never got anything in return. After that week, I never shed another tear over him.

Some things that helped me through it were: - My friends and family. They were there for me and let me vent, but also would change the subject once in a while to help get my mind off of the breakup. - Taking time to grieve. I allowed myself some time to be sad. It's perfectly natural; a breakup is like a little death. It's important to take some time to deal with the sadness at the time, or else it will fester and most likely creep up on you later. But at the same time... - Don't wallow for too long. A day or two after the breakup, I got called into work. I really didn't want to go, but I went anyway - and it was the best thing for me. I explained to my boss what had happened, so she understood, and it really took my mind off things. - Cultivating new interests. After we broke up, I took my extra time as an opportunity to develop new interests that he hadn't liked, and that I hadn't had time to develop. As a result, I really blossomed as a person.

Breaking up with him ended up being the best thing for me. It's terrible and painful at the time, but I'm going to quote my dear friend Sara on this one: "Breaking up is like unclogging the toilet. It's awful, but sometimes you've just gotta do it."

Laura Hogg answered
August 5, 2011 at 10:42 AM
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