living with HPV
Where do is start? I recently received a letter from my obgyn stating that i needed to come in for my lab results. This alone freaked me out because id never received a letter before. i assumed that it could only be the worse, so i scheduled an appointment for that day, i wanted to know right away what it could be. im 22 by the way and i've been seeing this doctor since i was 16 years old, although i was not sexually active at that time,i was always really concious about how important it is to take care of my body.This doctors experience was probably one of the worse times of my life.The doctors walk in the room looked at me with no type of sympathy and said. "you have HPV". and simply turned around said "read that chart, it will tell you all about it is" and walked out of the room. when he came back he asked me if i understood what is was and i really didn't. not only because i was so overwhelmed that my brain couldn't grasp anything that i was reading, but also because i'd never even heard of this virus prior to this visit. After i left the office i went home and did my own research and learned that there are over 40 different types of HPV some cause 90% of all cervical cancer, these are considered high risk HPV. This really took a toll on my psyche because my mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer when she was just in her thirties. luckily for her they caught it early enough for there to be just minor treatment. could this as well happen to me? I also learn through my online research that low risk HPV causes genital warts. that disgusted me and about a couple of days later i discovered that i had a really small bump on the vulvar region of my pubic area, although this devastated me, it was also a bit of a sigh of relief knowing that i had one of the low-risk types of HPV.
After discovering that i had HPV i immediately wanted to blame my boyfriend, but i couldnt because my doctor said that i could have gotten it from my very first sexual partner, and the virus could just started to be active due to some sort of weakening in my immune system. I didnt know what to do and i felt like less of a woman. i felt like my femininity had been stolen away from me. i felt like i never wanted to have sex, or feel pretty anymore. i told my boyfriend that i didnt blame him if he never wanted to talk to me again. He Got really upset after i told him that. he told me that he wasn't going anywhere, and that really made me happy. It made me feel like i wasnt damaged goods.
i dont think i will ever come to terms with the fact that i have HPV but this experience has given me some sort of solemnity. it was a wake-up call to me. respecting my body is the most important thing to me now. feeding my mind with knowledge, nourishing my body with healthy food and working out to keep my body healthy is important in general but now it has become extra important to me because it may be what helps me to fight off the HPV virus. i hope my blog has helped someone out there. even if its just to know that you are not the only one and contrary to popular belief, you are not a dirty person. 80% of women will contract some type of HPV and it is up to your own immune system wether is will accept it or not you are not at fault. wearing protection may lower your chances of contracting the virus but condoms have there faults too. keeping your body healthy and getting regular doctors visits are very important because even if you do have HPV the earlier it is caught the more likely it can be easily treated and you can live a relatively normal life. LOVE YOURSELF