SUPER EPIC CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!
By Dayton from SLN Serves 16
The night is young. You have gone through your dvr twice and you have watched all the good shows. The only thing that is on TV are worthless reality shows and political talk. You feel a slight twinge in your stomach and all the elements seem to align as the very framework of your mind and body become one. The time has come. You're making cookies.
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- 2¼ cups flour
- 1 Tsp baking soda
- 1 Tsp salt
- ¾ cups sugar
- ¾ cups brown sugar
- 1 cups butter/butter flavored crisco
- 1 Tsp vanilla extract
- 2 eggs
- ¾ bags of chocolate chips
You may also need:
Baking Sheet, Bowl, Oven, Spoon
GET OUT A BOWL! PUT IN THE FLOUR! THEN THE BAKING SODA! THEN THE SALT!!!! MIX THE CRAP OUTA IT!
Okay! STOP MIXING! It's gona be okay! We will get back to the flour mix laterrr...now you need to mix the crisco (which works way better than butter), sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla! DO IT NOW! Also now might be a good time to preheat your oven :D! 325 convection!
You've come this far DON'T GIVE UP ON ME RODDY! WE GOT THIS! Now that you have this weird tannish sugar-butter concoction add the eggs! MIX IN WITH A VENGEANCE!
Remember the flour mix thing we did at the beginning? I know it's been a while but hopefully you haven't like thrown it away...start to mix in the flour with your vengeance-mixed pre-dough until it is the consistency of about...cookie dough woo!
Now mix in your chocolate chips! They can be white chocolate or milk chocolate or semi sweet! make sure not to freaking ruin everything by putting too many in!
*MOST ESSENTIAL STEP* Eat like half the cookies in the form of dough, it's probably one of the best things in the world.
DIDJU HEAR THAT? It was the public address system in your town warning you that the zombie apocalypse just started. Hopefully you have been stockpiling weapons. Oh...or that was your oven saying it is preheated. Put your cookies on a cookie sheet and pop em in! Bake for 12 minutes and hope nothing explodes! cheers! :D